Love Me or Hate Me…
I am a quote girl. I mean, I really love quotes. Inspirational, thought-provoking, motivating… I love finding new ones, re-visiting old favorites, printing those that are pertinent at a particular moment in time so I can review them frequently… maybe the quotes are more like mantras for me. They are the sword that I choose to yield at a particular moment against all of the chaos, challenge, difficulty, and obstacles that the world throws at us.
In my last blog post I reflected on how we frequently and yet unknowingly motivate and inspire others around us, just by doing what we do. Following that, I wanted to also touch on the fact that there are people out in this world of ours who are not kind, who are spiteful, and who seek to find fault in others even though it is a reflection of their own shortcomings. Growing up, many of us have had to deal with ‘haters’ at some point or another. As parents, we have had the conversations with our children about why other people can be so hateful, so vengeful, or so mean. How do those conversations go in your house?
In my house, I refer back to how Shakespeare said it: “Love me or hate me, both are in my favor. If you love me, I’ll always be in your heart. If you hate me, I’ll always be in your mind.” After all, who does that hating really hurt? Sure, it stings to think that other people don’t value you or what you do, but ultimately, it is that hating person who is hurting him or herself by fixating on all the negative energy it takes to hate in the first place.
Yes…that sounds kind of new-age-y. But think about the last time you really felt negatively about something or someone. How did it feel in your heart? It tightened up your chest, it caused your blood pressure to rise, you may have felt heart palpitations, there was tension in your shoulders or across the back of your neck…the symptoms are varied. So what are all those symptoms manifesting? STRESS! They are STRESSING YOU OUT. Imagine living in that kind of high-stress state ALL THE TIME! Yuck. No thanks. And yet, that is what the haters are doing to themselves when they spend their time, energy, and emotion trying to get you to feel bad because they don’t like you.
So. Do you have haters in your life? Someone that just can’t seem to say one positive thing about who you are or where you are headed? Or someone who pretends to be sweet to you in front of others, but then you hear about negative things said behind your back? Or worse, someone who goes out of their way trying to convince your family and friends that you are doing things or saying things that you would absolutely never do, just so they can cast aspersions and doubt on your character or your relationships?? Yup, there are people out there like that. I don’t understand how they can sleep at night. But I have to believe that the hate they are holding in their heart will eventually cause their foundation to crumble. Scientifically speaking, I know what stress does to the body – physically, mentally and emotionally. And I DO believe in karma.
So. If you are a hater, be careful. You are not extra-powerful, or extra-fabulous because your heart burns with hate. You are much, much weaker…and the one you are casting your hate on is actually becoming stronger because of it.
There are people out there who are watching to see someone else fail, just to make their own lives seem a bit better in comparison. Don’t waste your time or energy on them. Let them consume themselves with the negative emotions. YOU have a fabulous life to live. YOU have wonderful family and friends surrounding you with love and support. Turn around and show that same kind of support to someone you know who may not be feeling it…you never know when you can turn a potential hater around, simply by being you.
YOU are making choices daily that move you forward in health and happiness! YOU choose how you live your life, where to put your energy…that is your gift. Live it out loud! Spend your time in love and appreciation, not in hate…it is much healthier, and so much more fulfilling!